The definition of a coach

With the dismissal of Mike Fratello last week and the Tony Barone Sr. era just underway, I began to wonder just what is the purpose of a head coach/manager in professional sports.

First, let's review the current situation with the Grizzlies. I think Tony Barone may have captured the very essence of what modern day coaching in professional sports should really be all about. Today's article by Graham Kendrick from grizzlies.com has a quote from Barone that I think personifies his style as well as his personality. With the team appearing winded, Barone suggests that he call the plays in the rest of the way (surely knowing what the response would be), then challenges the guys to get out there and keep running. Mike Fratello's method of coaching, while tried and true, had become truly tired. His ranting around like a maniacal little despot, screaming players down and barking in assignments every time down the court at its best discouraged the team and at worst incited the mutiny that ended his tenure in Memphis.

So where is the disconnect where coaches go from an objective, encouraging voice on the sideline, lending insightful wisdom from another vantage point to the ego maniac who bans headbands and music in the locker room before games? Does today's player need discipline and instruction? High School - Yes. College - To varying degrees, Yes. But by the time one reaches the pinnacle of professional sports, if a player lacks discipline there is no coach that will be able to reign in someone like that. Their career length will be determined by the ratio of their God given ability compared to their stupidity. Once God given ability is less than intelligence, start applying for those ditch digging jobs my lanky, ignorant 7 foot friend. I believe the best mentor for a rookie are the veteran teammates who remember what is what like entering a professional league and a coach can assist with that transition. But, short of Avery Johnson with the Dallas Mavericks, most professional coaches either never played or when they did play it was challenging games of HORSE with James Naismith shooting into peach baskets.

And lets not even get started with baseball managers. Those guys get issued a number and a UNIFORM! Like they would have the ability to go out there and shag flies in the outfield. Some of them need a friggin' pinch runner just to climb the dugout steps and walk to the mound to change pitchers.

Anyway, this has taken me a while to write. I am very pleased with the job Tony has done, and I congratulate him and the organization for getting this lackluster season turned in the right direction.

New Year's resolutions

As we change the calendar to 2007, we come to the time in which we try to change things we don't like about ourselves. While this conceptually is very noble, why do we feel the need to wait until January 1 to do it?

• Want to drop a few lb's? Don't mainline cheeseburgers and ranch dressing through New Year's Eve, then dust off the "Sweatin' to the Oldies" beta max tape you have. Hit that elliptical machine today my portly friend.
• Want career advancement? Trust me, the CEO at FedEx wasn't sitting in his boxers at 3 in the afternoon watching Judge Joe Brown when the phone rang and he got offered the position. Get out there today and start showing people what you are made of and what you have to contribute.
• Want to spend more time with family? Here is a little hint. There are 24 hours in a day, don't spend 18 putting everything else imaginable in front of them. The candle set of the 2 goats eating each others dung that you saw at Pier 1 marked off 70% will still be there tomorrow - trust me.
• Want to lay off the cancer sticks? Don't quit cold turkey on January 1st. Adopt Robin Williams approach from "Good Will Hunting" and "shove them up your ***, you'll live longer". Think about it, the only people that want to be around smokers are other smokers. Even then, interesting how even the smokers themselves have leveled their own form of self-banishment. When I lived in Denver, there was a couple across the street that would stand in front of their own garage at 11:00 at night in 20 degree weather to puff down a couple of heaters. And the comical twist is that they didn't realize that they still smelled like they had washed their clothes in the ashtrays of the local bowling alley.

No one says that this stuff is easy, and realistically, New Year's resolutions are more short lived than a cardiac patient in a bathtub full of plugged in hair dryers. But, change should come at whatever point one feels change is necessary, not because old father time uses that old bony, shriveled finger to turn a page on the calendar.

As for me, there are a couple of these I will try to adopt for myself. But at least if I find myself sitting on the edge of my treadmill with a buttery bowl of popcorn, an empty bottle of Jim Beam and a lit Marlboro red on January 5 hatching a plan to further alienate my friends and family, well, at least I got a head start.

In all seriousness, this is the relaunch of the PCR. My hope is to enlighten, bring a few giggles and just generally get stuff off my chest.

Happy New Year everyone.